Here is an article by Uncle Bear posted on DAMM, which we reproduce in its entirety, detailing how to save GM and bring peace to Iraq in one fell swoop. It combines economics with political science and military strategy (I think I spot a potential Ooda loop towards the end involving Astras). Bonus points to all who can name the different economic theories and methods at work here:
G.M. is sort of like a drunken old grandpa who has let his life slide into bankruptcy because of his seemingly unbreakable addiction to old habits. Because of his attitude toward us in the past, we’d like to wash our hands of the old geezer, let him sleep under a bridge in a cardboard box.
Alas, he’s family. (“What’s good for G.M. is good for the USA,” and all that silly rot.) Whether he deserves it or not, our responsibility is to clean him up, give him a shave, wash his shirt, his underwear, help him live through his last days or years with a little dignity. Again, he’s family.
But geeze, the whole family’s a bit strapped right now, over-committed, cash flow’s down, other obligations pressing. To help pay for Grandpa G.M’s rehab we’re going to have to juggle some accounts. Where can we squeeze the hefty rehab fee?
After reviewing all our family expenses—Aunt Social Security, Uncle Health Care, Cousin Education—it seems there’s only one obvious place we can tap to rescue Grandpa G.M, from the poor house: Uncle War Budget.
Here’s the plan: Uncle War Budget has been spending over two billion a week in Iraq, and over a billion a week in Afghanistan. Actual cost is over 9 billion a month, but let’s be conservative, and make the math easy. Let’s say 8 billion per month, two billion per week. Now, the lowest priced model G.M. car is the Astra, retailing without options at around $16,000. If we bought them by the carload (so to speak) let’s assume we could get a deal— say 12,000 each. That means for one week of Uncle War Budget’s allowance we could buy over 83,000 brand new G.M. Astra’s.—in a week! That should go a long way towards meeting the down-payment for his rehab.
If we took a whole month’s allowance, we could buy over 300,000 Astra’s. That might keep Grandpa G.M. off the streets for maybe a year. Now of course Uncle War Budget’s entire allowance doesn’t go to bombs and bullets and bunker busters. A portion of it goes to actually feed and house and clothe the soldiers. So let’s just divert half of it, for a little bit, say three months, until late spring. During this time we’ll have the soldiers “stand down,” as it were, hang around the camp, send e-mails, play video games, let the Iraqi’s work with their newly elected local leaders. For three months we won’t ship any more bombs or bullets or machine guns into that country.
Of course, that would give us 450,000 spanking new Astra’s. What do we do with them? We could pass them out here but it seems only fair that if they came out of Uncle War Budget’s allowance that we use them in the effort to bring relief and stability to those poor suffering people.
So what we do is fly these cars to Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan and simply parachute them out the back of the C130 Cargo Planes, with keys in the ignition. The somewhat baffled citizens of these countries would, on one hand, immediately cease trying to shoot down our planes, and, on the other hand, start to see the downside of blowing up their own oil facilities, and roads and bridges.
Doing the math, that means that for three months we could drop 5000 new Astra cars a day into various parts of these countries. The villagers in remote Afghanistan might see the wisdom of making their roads more passable. The folks in Falluja can go visit cousins in Syria.
Okay, the obvious questions: would this plan generate more opportunities for car bombings and movement of terrorists around the region? The answer to both questions comes as another question: which creates incentives for more terrorists and car bombings: dropping bombs, or dropping Astras? I rest my case.
Just because this plan is simple and obvious doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give it a try. After all, Grandpa’s standing there with his hat in his hand, his Astra’s in a sling.
Original article here: http://www.dammm.org/blog/how-to-save-general-motors/
